Mike Flaherty: From Shadows of Abuse to a Life of Purpose

“If it wasn’t for my faith, that would have been the thing that sent me right back down the spiral.”

Mike Flaherty had every reason to fall apart. An abusive, alcoholic father who once pulled him off a Little League field mid-game for striking out. A wild college years that led to DWIs. A cocaine habit. A felony warrant. A car chase that ended with tasers and a beating from police. Seven years in Missouri state prison.

But sitting across from me now, Mike is 10 years out, sober, and working with Constructing Futures to give other formerly incarcerated men the same second chance he got.

Growing Up Under an Abusive Father

Mike grew up in Saint Louis with an older sister, older brother, and twin sister. His mom held everything together. His dad was an alcoholic who coached Mike’s Little League teams, but you never knew which version of him would show up.

“There was a time I was 11 or 12. Little League baseball game. I struck out three times and my dad actually pulled me off the field in the middle of the game,” Mike told me. “In front of the parents, all the other coaches, teams. It was pretty embarrassing.”

When Mike hit 16 and got stronger from playing sports, he finally stood up to his dad. “We went at it in the front yard. After that he kind of left me alone.”

College, Cocaine, and Running from the Law

Mike went to the University of South Florida, then bounced to Missouri State and finished at Mizzou. By his own admission, he was more into the “extracurricular” than academics. His first DWI came as a freshman.

“It scared me at first,” he said. “Then the heat kind of blew over. That slap on the wrist, first offense. I kind of forgot about it quickly.”

He got a job selling new homes during the late 90s and early 2000s boom. The money was good. The nightlife was constant. Some nights he wouldn’t sleep, just shower and go straight to work.

When we talked about whether he knew he had a problem, Mike was honest: “I was making enough money to afford good attorneys. I was living in denial. Thinking if I get caught, I can survive this.”

The Night Everything Crashed

Mike had a felony warrant out for his arrest. He was on the run for seven or eight months when it all came crashing down.

It was 2:00 AM. He was loaded, cocaine, alcohol. Someone threw a bottle out the car window. The sirens hit. Mike told everyone to buckle up. He wasn’t stopping.

“I took them on three or four miles through subdivisions, going through people’s yards,” he said. “I knew if I stopped, I was going to jail.”

The chase ended when he ran out of road. He jumped out, slipped on wet grass in loafers, and came face to face with a cop. He threw a forearm. Then came the tasers. It took three tries to bring him down.

“When you get put in the back of that car, what’s running through your mind?” I asked.

“That my life was over.”

Seven Years in Missouri Prison

Mike spent nine months in St. Louis County jail before getting sentenced: seven years times five, all concurrent. 35 years worth of charges running together. He thought he’d do 20% and be out in six months.

Then he got the letter. His release date: 2013. They gave him the full ride because of his multiple felonies. “You should have been locked up a long time ago. We’re going to make it up right here.”

The first years were rough. Mike got into it early, fighting a guy who tried to take his commissary. He got sent to the hole. He ran sports betting tickets. Did everything wrong.

The Christmas Eve Turnaround

It was about two years before his release. Mike was in the hole, under investigation for drugs he swore he wasn’t moving. It was Christmas Eve. Mail came from his family, photos of nieces and nephews growing up without him.

“Something came over me. I just cried out to God. I don’t want to live like this anymore. Please help me through this. I’ll do my part.”

This time the prayer was different. He wasn’t asking to get out. He was willing to take responsibility.

He signed up for treatment. Stopped associating with the wrong people. Got transferred to work release where he cut trees for MoDOT, nine dollars a day in the Missouri summer heat.

Rick Gray and Constructing Futures

When Mike got out, he had no driver’s license, no car, and a family that wasn’t sure about him. His aunt took him in.

Then his sister connected him with Rick Gray from Constructing Futures. Rick had been to prison himself and now ran a program renovating houses with formerly incarcerated men.

Rick became Mike’s AA sponsor, his boss, and his friend. He made Mike take two and a half hour bus rides to job sites, even though he drove right past him.

“He wanted me to chop the wood before I could feel the heat,” Mike laughed. “He could have picked me up. He was driving past me. But he wanted me to learn humility.”

One cold, rainy day, Mike was standing at a bus stop after a long day’s work. Rick drove past and waved. That was tough love.

Living With Purpose Now

Today Mike works with Constructing Futures, mentoring men just like Rick mentored him. He goes to Chiefs games and plays golf with Rick. His life is better than he ever imagined it could be when he walked out of prison.

“No matter how hard or how uphill the battle, if you trust God and you actually believe, you can make it,” Mike said.

He told me about losing his 15-year-old niece in a freak boating accident on Table Rock Lake. His twin sister’s daughter. The kind of loss that could have sent him spiraling.

“If it wasn’t for my faith, that would have been the thing that sent me right back down.”

But he surrounded himself with good people. He kept going.

The Takeaway

Mike’s message is simple: “If you don’t try, you’ll never know. I didn’t want to just be mediocre. I didn’t want my legacy to be some bad person that did time and did nothing with it. I want to reach back in and say, you can choose something different. You’re letting your fear dictate the quality of your life.”

He’s living proof that it works.