Stephen Barbee: A Journey Through Darkness to a Brighter Future

When I talked with Stephen Barbee, I had to ask him about those four D’s on his website: dreams, destruction, disgrace, and deliverance. That’s quite a headline for a life story. But after hearing how he went from All-American running back to federal prison to becoming a nationally recognized speaker and mentor, I understand why those words capture his journey so well.

The Pastor’s Kid Who Could Run

Stephen grew up in what he calls “a good Christian home” with his dad as a pastor and his mom as an educator. But being a pastor’s kid came with its own challenges. “I always said I had a mistaken identity,” Stephen told me. “I was always known in Lawrence as Pastor Barbee’s son, or Miss Ann’s son. The stigma, they call it PK, pastor’s kid.”

That identity pressure followed him everywhere. Six kids would run through the church, and Stephen would be the last one. “They would say, do you see the pastor’s kids? What about the other five that I was chasing?” he explained. Or during Christmas plays: “Christmas play and stumble over my lines and say, can you believe the pastor’s son didn’t even know his lines?”

But Stephen had talent that transcended any label. Football became his outlet, and he was exceptional at it. After high school in Lawrence, Kansas, he signed with Independence Community College, then Highland Community College. That’s where the magic happened on the field. In 1984, as a running back at Highland, Stephen led all junior colleges for all-purpose yards, averaging 177 yards per game. Those are monster numbers.

The Record That Still Stands

The moment that defined Stephen’s athletic peak came when his coach asked him to switch from flanker to running back. “My very first game as a running back,” Stephen said, “I had 270 yards on 29 carries.” That record still stands today, over 40 years later. Schools like Stanford, Western University, Hawaii, and Montana State started recruiting him.

But even as Stephen dominated on the field, addiction was taking root. “By this time I started drinking alcohol,” he told me about his college years. “You know that grip of addiction. At that age, it was fun.” What started as partying escalated to marijuana, then powder cocaine, then eventually crack. Stephen was always chasing something. “I never was a social drinker. I drank to get drunk. I always went hard.”

The athletics couldn’t save him from himself. After a severe car accident where he hit a telephone pole at 80-plus miles per hour, Stephen’s football dreams effectively ended. The battery acid from the crash left permanent burn scars on his left arm that he still carries today.

From the Streets to Federal Prison

What followed were years of cycling between homelessness, treatment, and relapse. Stephen moved to Chicago seeking a fresh start but found that geography doesn’t cure addiction. “I realize now that I was carrying my active addiction from Kansas to Chicago,” he said.

The homeless period was brutal. Stephen spent two years literally eating Cheerios, sleeping in dugouts and under park benches in Oak Park, Illinois. One night, desperate and hungry, he knocked on a nursing home door. An elderly lady gave him a Coca-Cola and jelly sandwich. A police officer found him there and, instead of arresting him, drove him to a bus stop and told him to “walk till you see the cross.” That led Stephen to Pacific Garden Mission, one of the largest rescue missions in the country.

At the mission, Stephen rededicated his life to faith, completed a discipleship program, met his future wife during street evangelism, and got clean for 10 years. He earned his degree from Trinity International University and was working on his master’s when his marriage fell apart. The old voice returned: “You haven’t had a beer in 10 years.”

“That particular night, I went to the liquor store and bought me a 40 ounce,” Stephen said. Within weeks, he was back to crack cocaine, smoking through $700 in a single night.

Three Minutes That Changed Everything

The end came on July 22, 2005. Stephen went to what he calls “a very active crack drug house in Lawrence” and purchased $100 worth of crack cocaine. “Three minutes, 180 seconds changed my life forever,” he said. That house was under federal surveillance. Stephen didn’t know it, but he’d been set up by a confidential informant working off his own prison time.

Two and a half years later, on December 21, 2007, federal agents arrested Stephen at his job in Topeka. “You’re under arrest for five kilos of crack cocaine,” they told him. Stephen wasn’t a big-time dealer. “I was just a street user, a hustler. Never was one to walk around with guns and all that.” But he’d been caught up in a 13-man federal drug conspiracy.

Judge Langston sentenced Stephen to 70 months in federal prison. “Mr. Barbee, you don’t fit the type,” the judge said from the bench. “You’re educated. Your parents is in the courtroom. I don’t know what excuses you can make, but I do know that you’re dealing with some demons. I pray that this 70 months that you face your demons.”

Facing Demons Behind Federal Walls

Stephen did exactly that. He served his time working in religious services, learning about different faiths while strengthening his own. One day, he asked God directly: “Why did you go to such extreme with me? Why not treatment? Why not county jail? You skip the state system and take me from the county straight to the feds.”

The answer he felt was clear: “The greater the call, the greater the fall. You had to fall this great to know I put a call in your life.”

Stephen completed the residential drug and alcohol program and served 34 months instead of the full 70. He was released on January 18, 2012, catching a Jefferson line bus back to Kansas City with everything he owned in a single bag.

Building From Nothing

For 71 days after release, Stephen couldn’t find work due to his federal conviction. He stayed at City Union Mission, the homeless shelter in Kansas City, until Metro Lutheran Ministries hired him. That began his journey in reentry services that continues today.

Stephen has been clean and sober since June 2008, over 16 years now. “How many times was you arrested sober? Never,” he told himself in prison. “If I just stay off the alcohol, if I stay off the crack, if I stay off the marijuana, I would never, ever have to wear these silver handcuffs again and be in khakis. And by God’s grace, I have.”

Today, Stephen is a nationally recognized speaker, mentor, and life coach with over 20 years of experience serving the homeless and reentry populations. His record from Highland Community College still stands. But more importantly, so does his sobriety and his commitment to helping others navigate the barriers of reentry.

The four D’s tell the whole story. Dreams realized on the football field, destruction through addiction, disgrace in federal prison, and deliverance through facing his demons and rebuilding from nothing. Stephen’s story shows that sometimes the fall has to be complete before the real work can begin.